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How to engage, validate, and empower people with complex chronic conditions and connective tissue disorders.
Patients with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), POTS, MCAS, and other overlapping conditions are often survivors—not just of illness, but of medical harm, dismissal, and misdiagnosis. Many have been told “it’s all in your head” or that their symptoms are exaggerated or impossible.
These patients need more than treatment. They need trauma-informed, trust-based communication that honors their lived experience.
Poor communication doesn’t just feel bad—it causes harm.
Patients delay or avoid care due to past invalidation
Incomplete or rushed communication can result in misdiagnosis
Lack of clear expectations contributes to provider burnout and patient mistrust
Empathic communication is clinical care. It builds better outcomes, stronger alliances, and more efficient visits.
“I believe you.”
“I can tell you’ve been through a lot.”
“Your symptoms are real, even if they don’t fit in a neat diagnostic box.”
Validation opens the door to cooperation. Without it, there’s no trust—and no healing.
EDS patients often know more about their condition than generalists. That’s not a threat—it’s a resource.
Try:
“That’s interesting. Can you tell me more about what you’ve learned or experienced?”
“Let’s look at this together and see how we can build a plan from both sides.”
Avoid:
“I don’t see anything wrong here.”
“There’s nothing I can do if your labs are normal.”
“Let’s not go down the rabbit hole.”
Instead of saying:
“There’s no cure, so you just have to live with it.”
Try:
“There’s no cure yet, but there are ways to improve your quality of life and reduce symptoms. Let’s focus on what helps.”
Patients value honesty over false promises.
Try:
“This isn’t my specialty, but I want to learn more and collaborate with those who know this better.”
“I may not have all the answers today, but I’m here to support you through this.”
Then refer to trusted specialists or programs (like the Ehlers-Danlos Society ECHO Program) for collaboration.
Many patients with EDS and comorbidities live with brain fog, fatigue, or sensory overwhelm.
Best practices:
Use simple, plain language
Pause and ask if your explanation is making sense
Summarize key points in writing or offer handouts
Offer telehealth when appropriate
Allow time for questions without rushing
Instead of asking only what hurts, ask:
“What does a typical day look like for you?”
“What makes it better or worse?”
“How is this impacting your mental health or daily functioning?”
“What’s worked for you in the past?”
You’ll uncover root issues much faster.
Patients with chronic illness often fear abandonment or dismissal.
Say:
“This is a long-term condition. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s create a care plan that adapts over time.”
Build ongoing follow-up structures, even if visits are brief or spaced out.
Avoid common phrases that harm even when unintended:
Harmful Phrase | Better Alternative |
---|---|
“It’s just anxiety.” | “There may be nervous system involvement. Let’s rule things out and manage both physical and emotional stressors.” |
“You’re just deconditioned.” | “Let’s look at how you tolerate movement. We may need to build up carefully with PT.” |
“There’s nothing we can do.” | “We may not have a cure, but we have tools to improve your daily life.” |
Project ECHO for EDS & HSD Providers
Monthly virtual case-based learning and deeper training models:
https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/echo
Book: Holding It All Together When You’re Hypermobile (Christie Cox)
Includes patient insight on the healthcare experience
https://www.holdingitalltogetherbook.com
Your words may be the difference between a patient who gives up—and one who tries again. With better communication, even the most complex cases become less overwhelming. EDS patients don’t expect perfection. They’re just hoping to be seen.
Listen. Validate. Collaborate. That’s medicine at its most human.
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